guest post: double up on a scooter

saving money is always fun, and whats more economical than carpooling on a scooter. two dudes one scooter? No problem.



editor's note: according to jigga matt, two dudes riding a scooter together is called "riding butt to nut."

submitted by: sasquatch canyon

do the chicken trot

according to the August 8, 1940 edition of the Spokane Daily Chronicle:

Once every year the prairie chickens all have a big get together in order to find their mates. Thousands of these birds will form a gigantic circle and as the lovers pair off they perform a cute but ludicrous dance. Not even interested spectators seem to bother them. The dance is said to resemble closely the Kerry folk dances of Ireland.

if you're an irish asshole you better get to work on that chicken trot. i mean, the essence of beer, cabbage, polo cologne and shelltoe isn't a big draw. looking like howdy doody's shitty cousin isn't really working out either. basically, if you want to hook up with some chicks you better figure out how to dance like a chicken.

eyeball it

don't waste time fidgeting around with precise measurements or equations or whatever. i mean, there's a time and place for shit like that, obviously. but, like, if you're just trying to have a good time, put away the protractor bro. an approximation is gonna be fine. faak it.

enjoy tommy heinsohn's shit talk

even if the celts take a tough loss, at least you get to listen to tommy heinsohn shit all over the opposing team's defense and wipe his ass with the officials. tommy point!

txt someone's mom 42069

if i have to explain this shit, go visit jonasbrothers.com.

get a mohawk at your friend's wedding

step one: pack clipper in suitcase. step two: board plane for cross-country flight. step three: attend wedding. step four: float idea of potential mohawk to drunken friends. step five: find willing barber. step six: remove shirt. step seven: receive mohawk. step eight: brush ya shoulders. step nine (optional): replace shirt. step ten: enjoy mohawk-invigorated afterparty.

go buck in a purple velvet cape

get in touch with your inner ghostdini and wile the fuck out in fuzzy purp. bonus tip: if some one tries to take your picture, get all up in the the camera with the screwface a la krazy eyez.