wear a mountain dew 12 pack boot

ideally you'd just hop on the ol' kawa and get too sick, but for most of us that's just not in the budget. cramming your foot into a mountain dew fridge pack and bombing around is a solid alternative.

start a crew

first thing you gotta do is come up with a sweet crew name. have a brainstorming session with your pals and come up with a real wu-banger. you know, something that people will remember. think lawn wranglers or mara salvatrucha. anything but young g's. that's just pathetic.

bonus tip: avoid including clowns in your crew's iconography. it'd take a miracle to make that work.

push around in the street

leave your house and push around the neighborhood. don't do much. maybe ollie some manhole covers. bump jump a parking block if you're really feelin' frisky. constantly try'n to do tricks on a skateboard is kinda pathetic unless you are under 12. ok, don't cry. i'm not saying you gotta give up on the endless pursuit of skateboarding progression altogether. just calm the fuck down every once and a while. jeez.

throw the bunny ears

if you aren't down for this move then don't even bother visiting LHTHF. i know, i know, that's obviously kind of a cop out. but seriously, if you aren't down to poke two fingers up behind your homie's head while he's try'n to get his photo did, i'm pretty sure i can't help you. like, you are legiterally a lost cause. no ability to have fun. so take your cautiously clenched middle and index finger having ass and visit dictionary.com or a web site about math or some shit.

bonus tip: tank one or more long island iced teas on the road to leporidae induced laughs.

avoid emotional outbursts on the bus

i don't care if you just downed a bag of yaz, fliping your flip on the bus isn't fun. it might even be completely socially unacceptable. i don't know though. i'm not even gonna pretend to be an expert on what's socially acceptable though. i'm too busy goin' buck in purple capes, tryin to be 10, and makin' kissy faces.

run a tech-77

the dia compe tech-77 is tip top, know what i mean? some things frankly can not be improved upon. the tech-77 is one of those things. it works perfectly. fuck, it even looks amazing. oh yea, you know what's sweet? skids. seriously, those are the best. here's the thing though, tech-77's don't do shit if they aren't attached to an actual brake at the other end of the cable coming out of it. rustle up a 990 or whatever, fuss around with the cable until it works, pedal fast, grab the tech-77, lock it up, and get ready to feel like you're 10.

avoid canadian slam poetry

or slam poetry in general, probably. but this shit is like the opposite of fun.