learn how to have fun

wear a mountain dew 12 pack boot

2010-05-16T04:04:00.000-07:00

ideally you'd just hop on the ol' kawa and get too sick, but for most of us that's just not in the budget. cramming your foot into a mountain dew fridge pack and bombing around is a solid alternative.

start a crew

2010-05-13T15:37:00.000-07:00

first thing you gotta do is come up with a sweet crew name. have a brainstorming session with your pals and come up with a real wu-banger. you know, something that people will remember. think lawn wranglers or mara salvatrucha. anything but young g's. that's just pathetic.

bonus tip: avoid including clowns in your crew's iconography. it'd take a miracle to make that work.

push around in the street

2010-05-06T17:41:00.000-07:00

leave your house and push around the neighborhood. don't do much. maybe ollie some manhole covers. bump jump a parking block if you're really feelin' frisky. constantly try'n to do tricks on a skateboard is kinda pathetic unless you are under 12. ok, don't cry. i'm not saying you gotta give up on the endless pursuit of skateboarding progression altogether. just calm the fuck down every once and a while. jeez.

throw the bunny ears

2010-05-03T20:12:00.000-07:00

if you aren't down for this move then don't even bother visiting LHTHF. i know, i know, that's obviously kind of a cop out. but seriously, if you aren't down to poke two fingers up behind your homie's head while he's try'n to get his photo did, i'm pretty sure i can't help you. like, you are legiterally a lost cause. no ability to have fun. so take your cautiously clenched middle and index finger having ass and visit dictionary.com or a web site about math or some shit.

bonus tip: tank one or more long island iced teas on the road to leporidae induced laughs.

avoid emotional outbursts on the bus

2010-04-29T19:18:00.000-07:00

i don't care if you just downed a bag of yaz, fliping your flip on the bus isn't fun. it might even be completely socially unacceptable. i don't know though. i'm not even gonna pretend to be an expert on what's socially acceptable though. i'm too busy goin' buck in purple capes, tryin to be 10, and makin' kissy faces.

run a tech-77

2010-04-29T18:33:00.000-07:00

the dia compe tech-77 is tip top, know what i mean? some things frankly can not be improved upon. the tech-77 is one of those things. it works perfectly. fuck, it even looks amazing. oh yea, you know what's sweet? skids. seriously, those are the best. here's the thing though, tech-77's don't do shit if they aren't attached to an actual brake at the other end of the cable coming out of it. rustle up a 990 or whatever, fuss around with the cable until it works, pedal fast, grab the tech-77, lock it up, and get ready to feel like you're 10.

avoid canadian slam poetry

2010-02-12T21:51:00.000-08:00

or slam poetry in general, probably. but this shit is like the opposite of fun.

guest post: double up on a scooter

2010-01-25T18:44:00.001-08:00

saving money is always fun, and whats more economical than carpooling on a scooter. two dudes one scooter? No problem.

editor's note: according to jigga matt, two dudes riding a scooter together is called "riding butt to nut."

submitted by: sasquatch canyon

do the chicken trot

2010-01-24T16:12:00.000-08:00

according to the August 8, 1940 edition of the Spokane Daily Chronicle:

Once every year the prairie chickens all have a big get together in order to find their mates. Thousands of these birds will form a gigantic circle and as the lovers pair off they perform a cute but ludicrous dance. Not even interested spectators seem to bother them. The dance is said to resemble closely the Kerry folk dances of Ireland.

if you're an irish asshole you better get to work on that chicken trot. i mean, the essence of beer, cabbage, polo cologne and shelltoe isn't a big draw. looking like howdy doody's shitty cousin isn't really working out either. basically, if you want to hook up with some chicks you better figure out how to dance like a chicken.

eyeball it

2010-01-15T15:03:00.000-08:00

don't waste time fidgeting around with precise measurements or equations or whatever. i mean, there's a time and place for shit like that, obviously. but, like, if you're just trying to have a good time, put away the protractor bro. an approximation is gonna be fine. faak it.

enjoy tommy heinsohn's shit talk

2010-01-11T19:09:00.000-08:00

even if the celts take a tough loss, at least you get to listen to tommy heinsohn shit all over the opposing team's defense and wipe his ass with the officials. tommy point!

txt someone's mom 42069

2010-01-07T20:47:00.000-08:00

if i have to explain this shit, go visit jonasbrothers.com.

get a mohawk at your friend's wedding

2010-01-07T17:31:00.000-08:00

step one: pack clipper in suitcase. step two: board plane for cross-country flight. step three: attend wedding. step four: float idea of potential mohawk to drunken friends. step five: find willing barber. step six: remove shirt. step seven: receive mohawk. step eight: brush ya shoulders. step nine (optional): replace shirt. step ten: enjoy mohawk-invigorated afterparty.

go buck in a purple velvet cape

2010-01-07T16:28:00.000-08:00

get in touch with your inner ghostdini and wile the fuck out in fuzzy purp. bonus tip: if some one tries to take your picture, get all up in the the camera with the screwface a la krazy eyez.

jump over a handrail

2009-12-23T06:29:00.000-08:00

pedal super fast. pull up. actually, pull up harder than that. you defintely don't wanna clip. like, not even a little. avoid the temptation to jump over a handrail in pursuit of a free pair of sneakers or to one-up your friend. Feeling like your stomach is in your neck and your balls crept into the empty space where your stomach used to be should be enough.

give someone a makeover

2009-12-12T17:38:00.000-08:00

reaching out to someone in need is such a good move. so many people don't even realize that they'd look way better as a french douchebag. helping someone realize their full potential can be truly rewarding.

impersonate a celebrity

2009-12-08T17:32:00.000-08:00

a solid celebrity impersonation is a good way to spark a weak party. step one: pick a good celebrity. step two: acquire any props you might need. don't get bogged down with this step, less is more here. step three: work it out. practicing a bit in front of a mirror is suggested, albeit embarrassing. step four: execute.

bonus tip: if possible, impersonate ted danson.

snooze naked near a bob marley poster

2009-12-07T17:59:00.000-08:00

this is a deece way bum out your college roommate, but fuck, it just feels so right. besides, bumming out your college roommate is like LHTHF 101. duh.

go snorkeling in westport, massachusetts

2009-12-07T17:33:00.000-08:00

so what if the water is so dark and algae-ridden that you can't see a foot in front of your face. it shouldn't be hard to find some flippers, a mask, and a snorkel somewhere in westport. place is like the crown jewel of the god damned south coast. somebody will hook you up if you ask around. maybe you can even borrow a dinghy from someone at the yacht club. bonus tip: avoid a BWI.

worship satan

2009-12-02T18:20:00.000-08:00

this is so fucking obvi. i mean, come on. if you want to really get up on some bacchanalian shit, you gotta start worshipping satan. or wait, is bacchus a god? ahh, fuck it who cares. that dude is irrelevant at this point, i think. satan is where it's at. According to the Church of Satan Youth Communiqué, here's how to get down:

Light the candle and set it before you. Place the medallion or picture of the Sigil of Baphomet so that it is visible just above and safely beyond the flame of the candle. Sit up straight, breathe deeply and relax. Clear your mind of all outside thoughts. As you gaze at the flame, say in your mind or out loud, “I am ready, oh Dark Lord. I feel your strength within me and wish to honor you in my life. I am one of the Devil’s Own. Hail Satan!” Open your mind; look within. You may shift your gaze from the flickering flame into the eyes of the goat in the Sigil, and sense your essential self reflected in it. When you feel you’ve reached that primal part of yourself, and that the words you spoke ring with truth, speak the words “So it is done,” with intensity and conviction. Breathe deeply again. As you exhale, blow out the candle.

Get some.

spend your time among old things

2009-11-21T20:17:00.000-08:00

new shit is booty. straight up. like, why the fuck is it so hard to replace an ipod battery? why do digital photos make everyone look like a grotesque oopah loompah? when did a baby carriage become a travel system? who knows? post up in your garage or basement and mess around with stuff that you were psyched on when you were a kid.

drink red oval beer

2009-11-19T19:52:00.000-08:00

no, no, not red stripe. red oval. shit is like 3 bucks for a six pack at trader josé's. bonus tip: if you really wanna get buck t.j. beerwise, opt for simpler times, coming in hot with 6.2% alcohol.

eat a hot dog in a 1991 ford ranger

2009-11-17T19:11:00.000-08:00

eating hot dogs is pretty much where its at when it comes to fun. basically means its summer or you're holding on to a little shred of summer. either is totally sweet, obvi. hot dogs just don't give a fuuck. seriously the most carefree, wang-shaped food ever invented. hit up the grocery for a bag of dicks, figure out a way to eat them in a '91 ranger, and you're golden. actually fuck it, you're beyond golden. you're a god damned alchemist.

run a giant bong in a furniture store ad

2009-11-09T19:21:00.000-08:00

fuck it, why not, right? it's not like that's not gonna to be fun. it'll be fuckin' pretty sweet probably. especially if you are mellow and have a fucked up leg. now that i think about it, if you are a douche, don't bother. it's not gonna be fun, and you'll still be a douche.

experiment with stuff

2009-11-06T13:36:00.000-08:00

you aren't gonna know what's fun unless you try some different shit. i can give you all the advice in the world, but at a certian point you gotta go out and mess with some stuff yourself. here's how it's gonna work: do something, evaluate, make refinements, try again, etc. stop doing nothing.

win halloween

2009-11-02T19:47:00.000-08:00

life is all about choices. showing up at a halloween party dressed as johnny cage and chun li in 1998 is fair game but whatevz. johnny cage and chun li in 2008 is a win, cause timing is everything. it's november 2nd, start brainstorming for next year.

take a bike ride someplace vierd

2009-11-02T19:29:00.000-08:00

whether you're riding through a half-finished tube, a neighborhood in an unfamiliar city, or just bushwhacking the woods behind your parent's house, exploring unfamiliar places is pretty much where its at. stop doing the same thing and do something different. getting dialed is easy, getting vierd is fun.

send a postcard

2009-11-01T18:03:00.000-08:00

go someplace sweet and send a friend a postcard. try to find a decent one though, it's better that way. might as well incorporate a drawing of the letter Y funneling a beer in your note. that always makes for a good time too.

fuck up someone's photo

2009-11-01T17:33:00.000-08:00

waaaait for iit, cause timing is critical on this mafucka. let that fool get set up, smiiile, get ready... then right before they pull the trig, throw your finger up your nose or some shit. flipping birds over someone's shoulder is pretty tight too and the ol' take a photo in a photo move never hurt anyone either. i'm sure you'll think of something. bonus tip: wardrobe malfunction.

toss your expired kicks on a wire

2009-10-30T06:27:00.000-07:00

according to wikipedia.org:

Some say that shoes hanging from the wires advertise a local crack house where crack cocaine is used and sold[1] (in which case the shoes are sometimes referred to as "Crack Tennies").[2] It can also relate to a place where Heroin is sold to symbolize the fact that once you take Heroin you can never 'leave': a reference to the addictive nature of the drug. Others claim that the shoes so thrown commemorate a gang-related murder, or the death of a gang member, or as a way of marking gang turf.[3] A newsletter from the mayor of Los Angeles, California cites fears of many Los Angeles residents that "these shoes indicate sites at which drugs are sold or worse yet, gang turf,"

that's all bullshit though, invented by adults and nerds. kids know it's just fun to tie them shits together and let 'em rip.

stand up for something

2009-10-27T18:24:00.000-07:00

i don't care if you're from the suburbs. luke grew up as a whiny moisture farmer on god damned tatooine and wound up flying alongside fuckin' wedge antilles in a straight knar mission to destroy the death star like seconds before it annihilated the rebel base at yavin IV. figure out something to care about and get on some rebel alliance shit. or at least watch star wars.

drink with a really long straw

2009-10-25T17:59:00.000-07:00

the longer the better, pretty much. bonus tip: make sure whatever you are drinking is fruit flavored and savagely alcoholic. bonus bonus tip: go to the china inn in pawtucket, rhode island. bonus bonus bonus tip: hang out with a really small guy.

make something out of nothing

2009-10-25T17:34:00.000-07:00

watch tv in a boat made out of a box or whatever. your choice. it's nothing after all, so freestyle it.

drunkenly catch your dance partner's eyes

2009-10-25T13:48:00.000-07:00

just get sensual with it. it's gonna be way funner that way, i swear. the longer you can hold an intense gaze the better. fact: this is more fun when you dance with women.

stop being such an irish asshole

2009-10-22T20:35:00.000-07:00

oh, and while you are at it, don't knock on someone's door hammered at 11:30 on a tuesday night to see if they want to smoke weed for 10 weeks in a row, stop yelling at your dog, try not to get in a brawl with an asian gang under an open window at three in the morning, def consider not showing up uninvited at a birthday party for someone you don't know and threatening everyone there, avoid getting the fighting irish guy standing on a keg with the tap in his hand tattooed on your calf, quit smoking, don't become a priest, and put away the shelltoes.

do not guard yourself against evil temptations

2009-10-22T20:29:00.000-07:00

without stating the obvious... actually, fuck it, the obvious clearly needs to be stated. againn. evil temptations are fuckin' sweet. well maybe not all of them, but tons of them are. duh.

slow down

2009-10-22T20:10:00.000-07:00

seriously. slow the fuck down. why are you running around anyway? to get to work? what are you, some kind of horrible workmonster? jesus, get your shit straight, man. you are never going to have any fun rushing all over the shop first thing in the morning. what do you think this is, a race to assholeville? a dickface competition? either way, you won, bud. put down the coffee and consider a mellow chamomile.

run what ya brung

2009-10-21T05:17:00.000-07:00

johnny o taught me this move along with my dad. running a board until it looks like a 13 year old's Bam Heartagram in Norwood, Massachusetts and sneakers that look like a migrant farmer's works on a bunch of levels, here's a couple:

extra money for beer/food = fun

lowered expectaions = fun

making it happen anyway = satisfaction = fun

familarity = comfort = fun

extra money for weed = fun

plus, in the near term you won't be mistaken for that douche with all the fresh shit and it's even more satisfying when you finally rig a crispy setup.

don't fuck with a lion

2009-10-19T20:03:00.000-07:00

seriously, don't do it. i know you think you are tommy tough nuts and everything, but do not fuck with a lion. in fact, if you've ever even considered fucking with a lion, like the thought ever even crossed your mind, make this your last visit to LHTHF, homie. we don't want your kind here. and by we, i mean me and lions. thx.

make a kissy face at the camera

2009-10-16T16:16:00.001-07:00

fact: kissy face = drunk = fun.

tie some shit to your bike

2009-10-15T21:31:00.000-07:00

then go someplace. doesn't have to be far. bring a tent and stay for a night. if you need to drive a while first or take a bus or ferry that's fine too. whatever works. if you live in dedham, massachusetts, consider pedaling to the endicott estate with a sleeping bag and a bottle of wine. i'm certian you'll have a fine night. if you live elsewhere, i'm certian you can find a suitable spot.

drink beer and eat pizza on your birthday

2009-10-15T20:58:00.000-07:00

seriously. it's your birthday. don't worry about it for a day. if you're like some monster man that's naturally thin, well, you aren't gonna die or get fat from one meal so fuck off. if you've already overdone it and are trying desperately to battle your party chin like the rest of us; fuck it. who cares? its your birthday for shit's sake.

dance with women

2009-10-14T16:39:00.000-07:00

this works if you're a guy or a gal. women are just more fun to dance with. a bunch of dudes dancing in a circle is awkward or a hardcore show. or an awkward hardcore show. whatever the case, its grody and the opposite of fun.

make your mark

2009-10-14T16:34:00.000-07:00

go ahead and spray mushrooms on a wall or something. ozzy works too. whatever you're into really.

wear a pink hat

2009-10-14T06:09:00.000-07:00

it's way easier to have fun if you stop taking yourself so seriously. wearing a small pink hat designed for a three year old is a valid antidote. find one and proceed with abandon.

start a band

2009-10-14T05:53:00.000-07:00

consider coming up with a decent mission statement like: "in the end, frankly speaking, we are not here to play black metal -- we are here to fuck the world."

eat chicken and drink beer

2009-10-14T05:47:00.000-07:00

eat half a chicken and wash it down with 47 miller lites.

take a break

2009-10-13T10:19:00.000-07:00

take a step back from whatever you got going on. i'm certian you'll enjoy it again when you return.