toss your expired kicks on a wire

according to wikipedia.org:

Some say that shoes hanging from the wires advertise a local crack house where crack cocaine is used and sold[1] (in which case the shoes are sometimes referred to as "Crack Tennies").[2] It can also relate to a place where Heroin is sold to symbolize the fact that once you take Heroin you can never 'leave': a reference to the addictive nature of the drug. Others claim that the shoes so thrown commemorate a gang-related murder, or the death of a gang member, or as a way of marking gang turf.[3] A newsletter from the mayor of Los Angeles, California cites fears of many Los Angeles residents that "these shoes indicate sites at which drugs are sold or worse yet, gang turf,"

that's all bullshit though, invented by adults and nerds. kids know it's just fun to tie them shits together and let 'em rip.

stand up for something

i don't care if you're from the suburbs. luke grew up as a whiny moisture farmer on god damned tatooine and wound up flying alongside fuckin' wedge antilles in a straight knar mission to destroy the death star like seconds before it annihilated the rebel base at yavin IV. figure out something to care about and get on some rebel alliance shit. or at least watch star wars.

drink with a really long straw

the longer the better, pretty much. bonus tip: make sure whatever you are drinking is fruit flavored and savagely alcoholic. bonus bonus tip: go to the china inn in pawtucket, rhode island. bonus bonus bonus tip: hang out with a really small guy.

make something out of nothing

watch tv in a boat made out of a box or whatever. your choice. it's nothing after all, so freestyle it.

drunkenly catch your dance partner's eyes

just get sensual with it. it's gonna be way funner that way, i swear. the longer you can hold an intense gaze the better. fact: this is more fun when you dance with women.

stop being such an irish asshole

oh, and while you are at it, don't knock on someone's door hammered at 11:30 on a tuesday night to see if they want to smoke weed for 10 weeks in a row, stop yelling at your dog, try not to get in a brawl with an asian gang under an open window at three in the morning, def consider not showing up uninvited at a birthday party for someone you don't know and threatening everyone there, avoid getting the fighting irish guy standing on a keg with the tap in his hand tattooed on your calf, quit smoking, don't become a priest, and put away the shelltoes.

do not guard yourself against evil temptations

without stating the obvious... actually, fuck it, the obvious clearly needs to be stated. againn. evil temptations are fuckin' sweet. well maybe not all of them, but tons of them are. duh.

slow down

seriously. slow the fuck down. why are you running around anyway? to get to work? what are you, some kind of horrible workmonster? jesus, get your shit straight, man. you are never going to have any fun rushing all over the shop first thing in the morning. what do you think this is, a race to assholeville? a dickface competition? either way, you won, bud. put down the coffee and consider a mellow chamomile.

run what ya brung

johnny o taught me this move along with my dad. running a board until it looks like a 13 year old's Bam Heartagram in Norwood, Massachusetts and sneakers that look like a migrant farmer's works on a bunch of levels, here's a couple:

extra money for beer/food = fun

lowered expectaions = fun

making it happen anyway = satisfaction = fun

familarity = comfort = fun

extra money for weed = fun

plus, in the near term you won't be mistaken for that douche with all the fresh shit and it's even more satisfying when you finally rig a crispy setup.

don't fuck with a lion

seriously, don't do it. i know you think you are tommy tough nuts and everything, but do not fuck with a lion. in fact, if you've ever even considered fucking with a lion, like the thought ever even crossed your mind, make this your last visit to LHTHF, homie. we don't want your kind here. and by we, i mean me and lions. thx.

make a kissy face at the camera

fact: kissy face = drunk = fun.

tie some shit to your bike

then go someplace. doesn't have to be far. bring a tent and stay for a night. if you need to drive a while first or take a bus or ferry that's fine too. whatever works. if you live in dedham, massachusetts, consider pedaling to the endicott estate with a sleeping bag and a bottle of wine. i'm certian you'll have a fine night. if you live elsewhere, i'm certian you can find a suitable spot.

drink beer and eat pizza on your birthday

seriously. it's your birthday. don't worry about it for a day. if you're like some monster man that's naturally thin, well, you aren't gonna die or get fat from one meal so fuck off. if you've already overdone it and are trying desperately to battle your party chin like the rest of us; fuck it. who cares? its your birthday for shit's sake.

dance with women

this works if you're a guy or a gal. women are just more fun to dance with. a bunch of dudes dancing in a circle is awkward or a hardcore show. or an awkward hardcore show. whatever the case, its grody and the opposite of fun.

make your mark

go ahead and spray mushrooms on a wall or something. ozzy works too. whatever you're into really.

wear a pink hat

it's way easier to have fun if you stop taking yourself so seriously. wearing a small pink hat designed for a three year old is a valid antidote. find one and proceed with abandon.

start a band

consider coming up with a decent mission statement like: "in the end, frankly speaking, we are not here to play black metal -- we are here to fuck the world."

eat chicken and drink beer

eat half a chicken and wash it down with 47 miller lites.

take a break

take a step back from whatever you got going on. i'm certian you'll enjoy it again when you return.